I can relate to one of the lines in this beautiful song. Well, more than one.
“Well, maybe I know somewhere deep in my heart love never lasts.” — I don’t think much love lasts, which may have stemmed from my parents’ divorce. I don’t put that much of myself into a relationship if I don’t think it will last, which is quite often the case.
“And I’ve always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now, I swore to myself that I’m content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk.” — As my friends can tell you, I can be quite distant sometimes. I’m uncomfortable letting too much of myself out at once. And this does apply to relationships; I’m very nervous about starting anything with anyone, moreso than should be expected. A few years ago, in fact, I was strictly against dating anyone. I didn’t want to get hurt, which is kind of ironic, because the first time I actually ever did get hurt was a few weeks ago, when I wasn’t actually in a relationship.
“I’ve got a tight grip on reality, but I can’t let go of what’s part of me here. I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me of some kind of proof it’s not a dream.” — You know what it’s like when you have a really great dream and you have to face reality again. That’s what songs like “Only in Dreams” are for. I actually have an example for this. Once, I had a dream where I was holding posterboard in the end, and I woke up, and it was strange. I felt the paper between my fingers for a few seconds and then just air. I tried to get back to the dream, but it was impossible. I had treaded too far in the real world to retreat to the dream. It would be so wonderful if we could wake up and have our dreams become reality, but, quite often, that’s not the case.
“And I’m on my way to believing.” — Well, right now, it’s pretty embarrassing, as any of my friends can tell you; I have a crush on a guy who everyone pretty much hates. And I tell myself that it’s not worth it, he’s too old, etc., but it gets washed away, somehow. And, no matter how hard I try, “I’m on my way to believing” that he’s right for me, when he’s probably not.
It’s amazing how much you can relate to a song… In fact, I’m changing my mood to this song.
Dreams are amazing, though. It’s funny, though, how we can deny such an obvious nightmare. One time, when I was in a really bad situation, I had a dream about swimming in boiling water, which symbolizes emotional turmoil. But, of course, I ignored it because I thought I was having such a great time. Basically, it was my brain’s version of “I’m Not That Girl.” Interesting how our unconsciouses can tell us so much that our consciouses can’t.
But that must be my number one pet peeve: waking up and realizing you can’t ever go back to the same world twice. You walk out of one world made of classrooms, surface, and drop back down to a world made of boiling water. I’m not depressed or anything, but sometimes you just wish you could live in your dream world forever.
Well, I’d better get off to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment